It was December 24th around 11:59 and there was no way I was going to get any sleep that night. I was about 9 years old at the time and I knew Santa was going to bring me exactly what I wanted for Christmas this year because he could read everything on my list wherever it happened to be. I couldn't wait. What did he get me? Will it be right? It'll be the best present I have ever received ever in my whole life and probably would receive for the rest of my life. The clock turned and it was Christmas but it wouldn't really be Christmas for another seven hours when I was allowed to break free from the barless cage that was normally a fantastic sanctuary but tonight was a mocking space filled with everything that I could care less about. It was all about what sat beneath the seven foot tall fake pine tree downstairs coated in shiny objects reflecting the also shiny lightbulbs wrapped around it. I couldn't possibly have been more excited, more anxious, and simply more happy than I had been at that moment.
Sometime before one in the morning I managed to dream about what my presents would be but it was cut short because the strength of my mind willed my body to arouse at exactly 7:00. I raced downstairs with my two younger brothers who of course also had the same ability to wake up at the exact right time, either that or they had been impatiently waiting for the clock to turn. Anyway, we raced downstairs to open anything we could before our parents shuffled down the stairs, our stockings were the only things that were free game. The stocking was full, you could see it. I could only imagine what was inside of it. A video game, a movie, a bucket of ice cream, a remote control car. I quickly dumped it out and found a pack of mike and ikes, a pack of reese's pieces, baseball cards, and a 3-pack of 5 gum. It was my favorite flavor of gum though so for the moment my stocking was acceptable considering I had fives of presents to open under the tree.
Finally my parents finished their mile long trek to the living room and we already had the presents divided up by person, and I already had mine in opening order. The first present I was going to open was big, I could feel something amazing in their. Maybe a remote control air hogs fighter jet, or would it be an xbox, I couldn't wait any longer so I ripped off the paper and saw an old navy box. Maybe it was just a cover up. I opened up the box and the sweatshirt inside was quickly tossed aside to make way for another gift after I searched the contents for something that was any real value to me. It didn't matter, get the worst ones out of the way first. That was from grandma anyway.
The next relative presents went next and they were okay, good, and cool, but it was finally time for Santa's present, the granddaddy. The wrapping paper was off before the box was in my hands, a little small but I knew the contents would make up for it. As I began to open up the box I noticed something on it, but it wasn't important, I opened it up and found a sheet of paper with four different bikes on it with writing that said pick one. I immediately pointed to the one I wanted and my dad said okay I will let Santa know and he will deliver it in a few days. I was ecstatic, a new bike was number one on my list and Santa always comes through. That was the last gift so I had to pick up the paper now, but I decided to take another look at the box. Bad idea. I knew the writing on the box and I knew the name too, it said "Lynnelle Sorenson" which was my stepmom's maiden name. How did Santa get her box.? Then it all hit me like a ninety five mile an hour fastball. My parents wrapped this gift, not Santa. My parents were going to get me the bike, not Santa.
As one of the biggest childhood fantasies waved goodbye to me I knew Christmas would never be the same. I could never go back to envisioning my gifts being assembled at the north pole, because after you know, you know. Part of my imagination was forced through a funnel that day. Now when Christmas rolls around I get excited for getting off school, seeing my family, going on vacation, and I guess a little bit about the presents. I will always remember the way I felt waking up that Christmas morning, but no matter how much I have thought about it, and hoped for it to come, and hoped to be able to unremember that box, life moves on, no matter what is lost along the way.
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