What is Forgiveness?

Definition:

Forgiveness is not something that only finds its way into those of us with the best of hearts. It isn’t something that comes easily. Forgiveness is the way that you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and take yourself completely out of your own in order to understand what the other person was thinking and what you would want if you were in their shoes. It is believing in the goodness of mankind even when every bone in your body is screaming at you to rip the head off of the person across from you. You understand the bigger picture.

Narration:

Forgiveness is not easy by any means. It is going against your first instincts and looking further. When my brother took my gameboy advance to a friend’s house and lost it, you can bet I was in no mood to give him a hug and go watch a movie. I was pissed. That gameboy was my go-to for any car ride and now what would I do. Just wait and think about the game that I could be beating but now couldn’t. I was mad but the more I thought about it I realized there was no way that he tried to lose it because I could tell in his voice that he knew he messed up. Even though I would have to save up my money to buy another one I forgave him because I knew he didn’t do it on purpose and he knew he was in the wrong.

Description:

A woman lays dead on the ground in a pool of her own blood, her life stolen from her by a man who would do anything for a few bucks to buy even one meal for his family of five. Her husband stands over the killer with a menacing look in his eyes, there is no reason in the world why he shouldn’t even the score, why this man didn’t deserve the same fate as his wife. He killed her, but did he mean to? Why did he need the money? Could those tears really come from a cold blooded killer. As the husband uncocks the gun and reaches out his hand, he knows that the pain will be great, but his nightmares will be shrouded with one less crime.

Example:

My grandma has never even touched a grudge in her life let alone hold one. Everything that happens to her, good or bad, happens for a reason and even if someone hurts her, it must have been for a reason larger than her understanding. She believes that everyone is good on the inside, that even the worst of people could be turned around. We just need to give them a chance she says.

Comparison/Contrast:

Forgiveness and trust are not as different as they may seem. Many people associate trust with being able to count on someone no matter what, and forgiveness is not staying mad at people who wrong you. Forgiveness could also be counting on someone to not wrong you again. It can be trusting someone to understand their mistake and learn from it. Trust can be overlooking some actions of those you care about because you believe that they are being done for a good reason because you give them the benefit of the doubt. To forgive someone you have to trust at least part of them, and to trust someone you will be willing to forgive them if they make a mistake.

Process analysis:

The process for forgiveness isn’t all that complicated. First you have to expect something from someone, expect someone to do something or for them to not do something. Then they have to fail you. They have to disappoint you, cross you, or just plain hurt you. When your anger builds up inside of you until you can’t hold it any longer, forgiveness is when you filter the pain out of your body rather than release it on the person. You find a way to understand their actions or overlook them because you know that or you hope that they won’t do it again.

Division of Analysis:

Forgiveness involves the conflict of many different emotions. It is the point when love, hate, fear, happiness, anger, disgust, confidence, and a combination of others. The only difference between revenge and forgiveness is which emotions win out. It is when your love and confidence for the other person or humankind in general topples your hate and anger, and allows you to see past the obvious and look at things from every point of view. It is a constant battle, but forgiveness depends on who wins out.

Classification:

When you think of forgiveness you think of many different things. Many people think of religion and the forgiveness of God and Jesus and how Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins. Many people think of repenting criminals who are forgiven by the people who they have wronged. You could think of the wife who forgives her husband for cheating, or for the father who forgives his son for crashing his car. Forgiveness comes in all shapes and sizes and can be found in our daily lives as well as our large events. It is a choice that we make, whether to forgive someone or not, depending on who the person is, what the crime is, but most of all what kind of person you are.

Cause and Effect:

Forgiveness is the renunciation of resentment or anger instead of demanding punishment or restitution. All humans are born compassionate. Forgiveness occurs after you are wronged, after someone does something that makes you angry, hurt, or disappointed. When your compassion bubbles up from deep within and overcomes the anger that has been thrust upon you, that is when you have forgiveness.

Argumentative/Persuasive:

Forgiveness is not easy by any means. It is hard. Even so, most people have an equal number of situations in which they will be the forgiver or in which they will be the forgiven. That is why forgiveness is so necessary in our lives because if you want to be forgiven you must forgive others. Everyone  makes mistakes, and yes there are times when forgiveness seems to be out of the picture, but when you are debating whether or not you are going to forgive someone, think about if you were in their shoes. Don’t say you would never be in that position because you can’t say that. Just think if you think you would deserve forgiveness in their position. Then decide.